Adventures of a lesbian attorney superhero.

Monday, January 7, 2013

I suck.

I suck.  I don't know why it has been so difficult to return to this blog.  I do miss it.  I can tell you that work and dating and the house and my family are keeping me very busy.  And they are.  But so many of you have lives that are also very busy.  And yet, you manage to blog. 

I think that my absence may be more about the ups and downs of settling into a new normal; finding my way to feeling at home in my new life.  I still feel off kilter from time to time.  But it is a new year, and I will try to be better at this.

Part of the difficulty of returning to this blog is figuring out where to begin.  Its like a good friend that I've gone too long without speaking to, and now it feels like it will be such an effort to catch one another up.  But I guess that the best way to begin is just to pick a topic and write and not worry about whether the writing is pretty or funny or twists around in any interesting ways.  So forgive me if this turns out to be none of those things. 

It probably makes most sense to begin with the topic presenting itself as the lowest hanging fruit.  In this case, a yellow, box-shaped fruit with dormer windows.  :)

Buying this house was incredibly difficult.  Not because the sellers were jerks (they weren't), or because there were glitches at closing that could have tanked the whole transaction and left me homeless (there were), but because during the years I'd been preparing to buy my first home, I never imagined I would be doing it alone, living in it by myself, that all of the decisions that need to be made would be only mine to make, and that the work and accomplishments would be only mine to experience.  It still makes me sad some days.  More often it makes me angry.  And sometimes, in those moments late at night when I am most honest with myself, I worry that in doing this on my own I have somehow fated myself to a form of spinsterhood.

But all that aside, I am very happy I did it.  It feels great to come home to a place that I have no current plans to leave.  It feels great to chip away and make progress little by little, and to know that that chipping and progress is finally for my own benefit and not the benefit of a landlord.  This little house is old and quirky and there are many things that I will be changing over the years, but it feels right.  Because I love old and quirky houses.  Even when there is lots to change over the years, they hold a special charm. 

So, what can I tell you about it?  It is a 2 story Victorian mansard just one street over from where I last lived.  It has a living room, dining room/kitchen, sun room  3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and a basement perfectly acceptable for storage.  It has an over sized front porch, large back deck, free standing single car garage, white picket fence and sits on a double city lot at the top of a hill and at the end of a dead end street.  It has a backyard that I am convinced is the size of a soccer field.  Its a 3 minute walk to the subway station and I am in the center of downtown in 20 minutes.  One of my neighbors is a forested section of a 200 year old, very beautiful, park area that will never otherwise be developed.  My bedroom faces that forested section.  On my first night in the house I fell asleep to the sound of the night breeze rustling through the neighboring 6 story pine trees.  On my first morning I woke up to the song of beautiful church bells.

I spent many of my free summer and fall moments working in the yard.  The prior owners did basic maintenance, but lacked vision.  In all fairness, I think that they did more before their 2 young sons were born, and then fell off the wagon.  I dug, edged, mulched and planted 12 garden beds.  I moved things around.  I trimmed bushes and trees.  I filled more than 30 lawn and leaf bags with weeds and debris.  And another 30 once the leaves began falling.  And that doesn't include the 7 years of Christmas trees that I dug out of  what I thought was a giant leaf pile on the side of the garage.  Yes, SEVEN Christmas trees.

Garden bed in progress.  This one runs 1/2 the length of the backyard at about 30 feet long.  

Only in the last several weeks, once the weather turned cold, did I begin to turn my attentions to the inside.  First things first, I spent a small fortune on the very unsexy job of replacing the entire waste pipe system--which was probably as old as the house and showing some signs of corrosion.  I've had the boiler serviced.  I've had an electrician bring the outdoor outlets up to code, install a motion light, and do some starter indoor projects.  I most recently had a very cute Irish plaster man smooth out my hallway and living room ceilings.  I'm currently in the process of priming them, this weekend I will paint them, and later this month I will finally, finally begin painting the walls of the rooms on the first floor.  And after that I can place artwork as the rooms begin to shape up, replace some of the lighting fixtures and begin to put in place the touches that make a house feel like home.

And so, it is to that priming that I need to turn now.  I will call it quits here for tonight.  In the interim, if any of my readers have hung in for the long haul and were still checking in from time to time, wondering if I would ever resurface, do let me know.


  1. Gorgeous gorgeous house! I have total home envy! I wish I could afford more than our 950 square foot home.....Good job with all the yard work. PLEASE post interior photos so i can complete my lusting :)

  2. Welcome back! What a beautiful house. How wonderful to be next door to that park.

  3. You bought a house!! Congratulations!

    And you are not fating yourself to anything... this is something you've been wanting for a long time.

    On not blogging... for me, it's not about being busy or not-busy. I find that when I fall off the radar it's because I just don't have the urge to share anything or reflect on anything just then. If anyone gets annoyed because you're not meeting their blogging expectations, they can get a refund.

  4. I'm in love with your house. And glad you found your way back to the blog, even if it only happens sporadically.

  5. Cee, my little house isn't much bigger at only 1,500 square feet. The smaller the house the more charming, don't you think? ;)

    I'll definitely post interior photos. Once I have some interior progress to document!

  6. So happy to hear that you are keeping busy with your new home. It is quite beautiful and seems so perfect. I'm so glad to hear that you're back and looking forward to hearing from you more often. I too had such a hard time blogging that I finally gave it up for good, but I'm so glad you have returned because I love reading blogs (just not so good at having my own).

  7. Good to have you back! And love your house :-)